We are all hyper-connected. I connect with my friends everyday through texts, email, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Pintrest, blogs, phone calls, Skype, and even the rare face to face conversation. These are just a few of the many flavors. A great deal of my friends and family use additional means of connecting, from Tinder if you're DTF to Twitter if you think you are witty. You can literally stay connected to anyone, including those who should have been left in your past.
As discussed in my most recent entry I am an over thinker, to the fuckin max. I am also an avid social media user. These two do not mix well. I've read statistics about how social sites, like Facebook or Instagram, can have a negative impact on your self esteem. Reason being, you are constantly comparing the quality of your life to your 'friends'. You see how Trisha and Dick are soul mates and have the nicest house on the block. So you compare your shitty one bedroom apartment and lonely TV-dinner nights to their wedded bliss. The problem is that Trisha does't post that Dick has a gambling problem and their beautiful home is about to be foreclosed upon. Unknowingly, you find yourself down and out because you can't attain this farce.
Not only are we comparing ourselves to fake happiness, we also have access to every fucking body. I never wanted to see what my ex's new girlfriend looked like, I never wanted to see what my current boyfriends ex's look like, and I most definitely did not want to keep in contact with that guy I accidentally slept with a few times. All of those people were supposed to remain quietly in my past, or in whatever past they originated. Now, thanks to the modern marvel of social media, I know that my boyfriends ex has big fake tits and blonde hair. Great, that's useful. NOOOO!!! You smug little shits might be thinking to yourself 'well don't look them up, it's as easy as that'. I call bullshit. I, personally, have no self control! If my ex's girlfriend likes a status of a mutual friends, how the fuck am I not supposed to look? Seriously, tell me how?
There are simply too many ways to connect with others. We are overstimulated with everyone else's underwhelming lives. Social media has just become a modern way to cling to your past. Let's do an exercise. Close your eyes; try to think of all the people you knew in high school that you are friends with on Facebook. Now, list how many you actually have valuable conversations with on at least a semi-regular basis. Feel free to explain why you have 307 friends from high school. The people who should be in your life are actually in your life, not on some screen giving zero fucks about you.
Are you ready for the kicker? A main component of my job is social media marketing! Oh irony, you cruel, cruel see-you-next-tuesday.
<3 Social Media Slave
Transition: a change from one state or condition to another.
This is where I currently reside, in a constant state of change. The majority of my life is in flux, and very little is definite. Much has changed since my last post and even more has changed since I started this blog.
So let us start with what is still the same...I'm still unmarried, therefore according to the government I am single. I am still twenty something, a few years closer to thirty, but twenty something none the less. Well, that about sums up the constants.
My employer has changed, I no longer slang mattresses! *electronic high five* Despite my career change, I somehow manage to be no closer to knowing what I want my career to look like. Some days I want to be a chef, some days I want to be a powerful marketing executive, and some days I want to join the peace corps to run far, far away. It's quite frustrating to be stuck in this brain that is perpetually changing what a 'dream job' looks like.
My relationship status changed. I went from being a single ready to mingle 20-something to having a serious live-in boyfriend. He WAS a constant in my ever changing life, until recently. The bf is now packing up and moving across the country to California to start a new job and leave this ol' dusty trap behind. I'm talking about our apartment you idiots! But for reals, this has forced a lot of decision making on both our parts. Do I want to be that tag along sidekick lookin' bitch? Does he want a sidekick? Does this mean we are seriously serious if I go out there with him? What the hell kind of job am I supposed to look for when I don't know what I want to do? How the fuck do we make long distance work? There is a two hour time difference, he hates talking on the phone, and we are used to seeing each other every day. There are enough unknowns to make your damn head explode! Now lets make it crazier shall we? I'm an over-thinker, so this is where my irrational conclusions rear their ugly heads. Here is a sneak peek into my brain: "How do you know that he isn't just moving out there to get away from your crazy ass? Maybe he has a secret life with a wife and kids, and that's why he is leaving. I'm sure every women out there is successful, pretty and thin so I obviously won't fit in. I'm going to have to get all new clothes, rich successful Californians don't wear Target jeans. Oh fuck, I need to get out of the Midwest!" And it goes on and on and on, a never ending line of questions, concerns and made up bullshit.
My apartment changed...multiple times. I went from living by myself in a small, old one bedroom apartment downtown, to living in a newer nicer two bedroom apartment downtown with my boyfriend, to living in a really nice two bedroom apartment in the hood with my boyfriend. And now I have this really nice apartment in the Latin quarter with NO fucking furniture! Ladies of the world, when you move in with you significant other don't get rid of all your shit because theirs is nicer. You never know when he will move away and you will find yourself sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. Pretty fucking depressing. But also pretty fucking motivating. Job hunting in another state is no longer a distant fantasy, it is a necessity.
Oh, and I got a new car!
All in all my life is walking that fine line between being really fucking kick ass OR a giant pile of disappointment. Some good, some hilarious, and some painful. Hopefully, at the very least, it will be entertaining to y'all.
<3
I'm back bitches!
