How Social Media Ruined My Life

We are all hyper-connected. I connect with my friends everyday through texts, email, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Pintrest, blogs, phone calls, Skype, and even the rare face to face conversation. These are just a few of the many flavors. A great deal of my friends and family use additional means of connecting, from Tinder if you're DTF to Twitter if you think you are witty. You can literally stay connected to anyone, including those who should have been left in your past.

As discussed in my most recent entry I am an over thinker, to the fuckin max. I am also an avid social media user. These two do not mix well. I've read statistics about how social sites, like Facebook or Instagram, can have a negative impact on your self esteem. Reason being, you are constantly comparing the quality of your life to your 'friends'. You see how Trisha and Dick are soul mates and have the nicest house on the block. So you compare your shitty one bedroom apartment and lonely TV-dinner nights to their wedded bliss. The problem is that Trisha does't post that Dick has a gambling problem and their beautiful home is about to be foreclosed upon. Unknowingly, you find yourself down and out because you can't attain this farce. 

Not only are we comparing ourselves to fake happiness, we also have access to every fucking body. I never wanted to see what my ex's new girlfriend looked like, I never wanted to see what my current boyfriends ex's look like, and I most definitely did not want to keep in contact with that guy I accidentally slept with a few times. All of those people were supposed to remain quietly in my past, or in whatever past they originated. Now, thanks to the modern marvel of social media, I know that my boyfriends ex has big fake tits and blonde hair. Great, that's useful. NOOOO!!! You smug little shits might be thinking to yourself 'well don't look them up, it's as easy as that'. I call bullshit. I, personally, have no self control! If my ex's girlfriend likes a status of a mutual friends, how the fuck am I not supposed to look? Seriously, tell me how? 

There are simply too many ways to connect with others. We are overstimulated with everyone else's underwhelming lives. Social media has just become a modern way to cling to your past. Let's do an exercise. Close your eyes; try to think of all the people you knew in high school that you are friends with on Facebook. Now, list how many you actually have valuable conversations with on at least a semi-regular basis. Feel free to explain why you have 307 friends from high school. The people who should be in your life are actually in your life, not on some screen giving zero fucks about you.

Are you ready for the kicker? A main component of my job is social media marketing! Oh irony, you cruel, cruel see-you-next-tuesday.

<3 Social Media Slave